Madame Halloween
by RoyxRizaFan
Summary: When Madame Christmas holds a Halloween party, everyone shares the stories of past Halloweens, especially concerning Roy, who enjoyed both tricks and treats as a child.


The small house was full of laughter, the clanking of glasses, and the sound of music as Fuery fumbled at the piano, attempting to create background music. Outside, the streets of Amestria were just as busy, bustling with anxious, lively children as they hurried from house to house, holding out bags and pillowcases as they collected candy.

"Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays," Madame Christmas remarked, refilling her guests' glasses. "I love decorating the bar with the girls, and seeing the creative costumes kids – and adults – come up with."

"Yeah," Havoc agreed, leaning back in his chair thoughtfully. "It's one of those holidays you never want to give up, no matter _how _old you get. My parent's store had to supply three times as much candy as usual this past month. Wait, you'll find _this _funny," he went on with a smirk, leaning forward. "With every bag of candy that was sold, they gave the customer a free tube of toothpaste."

"Toothpaste?" Roy laughed incredulously. "What does that mean? Some lucky kid gets a tube of toothpaste when they run out of candy at a house?"

"My mother said it settles her nerves," he said with a shrug. "She's convinced that if she doesn't do that, every kid in the nation is going to have their teeth rot out."

Roy threw his head back and laughed. "That makes me think of _you_," he snickered, glancing over at Madame Christmas.

She let out a coarse laugh, setting down the bottle of alcohol as she sat to join her guests. "That's because _you _were a brat every Halloween! That's why I'm throwing this party; now that you're _older_, I'm hoping I can take a little enjoyment out of this holiday!"

Breda's eyes lit up, and he placed down his plate of chips, eyeing her curiously. "What did the Colonel do? Go on, give us the dirt!"

"_Give us the dirt_?" Roy echoed him. "Do you _hear _yourself? I guess everyone likes to act like children on Halloween."

"Don't try to change the conversation!" he snapped, crossing her arms. "Well, Madame?"

She chuckled, shaking her head. "Nope, I'm saving _those _stories for after Hawkeye arrives. Otherwise Roy and I will just go back and forth, without a third person to confirm what _really _happened."

Havoc glanced down at his watch anxiously. "Oh, she better get here soon!"

"I don't know what she's talking about!" Roy objected, shooting Madame Christmas a sideways glance. "_I _can't remember doing anything out of the ordinary on Halloween. Nothing I wouldn't do usually."

"Meaning you were _always _a brat?" Havoc snickered.

Roy opened his mouth to retort just as the doorbell rang. Havoc glanced up anxiously, crying, "Someone get the door! That might be Hawkeye!" Fuery, who was finally giving up at the piano, rushed to greet their guest.

"Trick or treat!" three voices sang in unison. Fuery stepped aside, opening the door fully so that the entire room could see as Ed, Al, and Winry stepped in, fully clad in costumes. Ed was beaming mischievously, Winry was glowing with excitement, and Al was concentrating on fitting through the narrow passage more than anything. Proud of his radiant, extravagant vampire costume, Ed proudly stepped into the room, only to realize that none of the other guests had bothered to dress up.

He glanced around in disbelief, searching each of the guests in hope that someone would at least have a seasonal pin on, until his eyes finally fell on the snickering Colonel, who didn't bother to hide his amusement. Tightening his fists by his sides, Ed stomped his way into the room, crying, "What a bunk of geezers, unable to enjoy a simple holiday!"

"Looking good, Fullmetal," Roy teased. "The frilly collar suits you."

"You know what would suit you, Colonel? The indent of my automail on your face-"

"Ed!" Winry cried in a reprimanding tone. "At least thank our hostess before you start threatening everyone! Jeez!" The attention shifted to the young automail mechanic, who was dressed in a full body cow costume, complete with a large bell wrapped around her neck. Crossing her arms defiantly, she continued. "Besides, even if no one else dressed up, it doesn't mean we shouldn't have!"

"You only dressed as a cow so you could tease me!" Ed spat, falling into one of the empty chairs. "Because I hate milk. She keeps sneaking up on me, screaming _moo _when a normal person would say _boo_!"

"Most normal people wouldn't do _either _of those things," Havoc corrected him teasingly.

"Al looks great, too," Madame Christmas laughed. "The Tin Man! Very ironic!"

"It was the only thing I could pull off," he shrugged, closing the door as he entered. "Everyone outside kept complimenting me, thinking I had made the entire thing myself, so I guess it's a hit nonetheless!"

"Are there a lot of kids out?" she asked.

"Sure are!" he answered. "A lot more than there would be in Resembool! Halloween wasn't this big there. We'd make our own costumes and go to a few friends' houses, and most of the time they'd have baked goods – things they had actually made – rather than store bought candy. It wasn't this extravagant!"

"In Resembool, _everyone _dressed up!" Ed sneered, slumping into his chair moodily. "You're all too stuck up and insecure to let down your guard!"

"Then why are _you _the one sounding defensive?" Roy retorted.

"Enough!" Madame Christmas snapped. "I have all sorts of old costumes sitting around, and if you don't behave, I'll put a set of kitty ears on that inflated head of yours!"

"Oh, she told you!" Ed laughed, enjoying seeing Roy reprimanded by someone he couldn't argue with.

"I've got enough for all of you!" she reminded the others, who immediately stepped laughing. "Feathery boas, glittery glasses, face paint…you name it!"

"Why do you have to be suck a packrat?" Roy moaned, placing his hands in his face.

"You'll thank me someday when you have kids, and you don't have to run around buying a new costume every year like _you _made me do!"

"The Colonel, having children?" Ed scoffed. "What woman would ever have children with a useless Colonel like him?"

The doorbell rang again, and Madame Christmas made her way towards the door. "All of your bickering is going to scare the kids away, so be quiet when I open the door, all right?"

"More for me!" Roy cheered with a smirk.

Madame Christmas rolled her eyes, ignoring him as she lifted her barrel of candy and answered the door. "Happy Halloween, darling-" she stopped her greeting midway, letting out a sigh. "Oh, it's not a child…but it may be someone better." She stepped aside, allowing Riza to enter. "Even if I never have trick or treaters to amuse me, at least I can start telling stories now!"

Flustered by the odd greeting, Riza merely said, "Thanks for having me," and began unbuttoning her jacket, slipping it off to reveal that she was wearing a pale orange blouse with her black pants.

"Looks like the Lieutenant attempted to be festive!" Ed cried approvingly. "Colonel, take a tip from her, will you?"

"Why are you singling _me_ out?"

"It seems like they're already causing problems for you," Riza sighed, glancing over at her hostess.

She shrugged. "I'm just happy you're here now. I promised that once you came, I'd tell everyone what a brat Roy Boy was when he was a trick or treater himself. I want you here to confirm everything I say."

"Of course," she agreed, a small smirk forming on her lips. She glanced over at Roy, whose eyes lit up in shock.

"Whose side are you on?" he cried in disbelief.

"I'm only going to tell the truth," she reminded him calmly, a hint of amusement in her tone. She took a seat beside him on the couch, accepting a glass from Madame Christmas. "What spurred the reminiscing? Was the Colonel misbehaving himself again?"

"I was not!" he cried childishly.

"I wanted to tell everyone about the gimmicks he pulled as a boy," Madame Christmas explained, sitting down. "It's my trick for Roy, and treat for my guests."

"Cute, very cute," he grumbled, slumping back into his seat.

"Any particular year in mind?" Riza asked curiously.

"Hm, more like events in general than specific years. He got worse as he got older, you see. As a child, he was just a selfish whiner. He never had enough candy, always mooched off his friends, and would complain to the neighbor's faces when they gave him something he didn't like."

"All right, I get the small town baked goods thing," he cried defensively. "But pencils, pretzels, and breath minds are _not _Halloween material."

"Unless it contributes to his love handles, he doesn't want it," Madame Christmas hissed to Havoc.

"I don't have _love handles_!"

"And you can thank _me _for that!" she cried. "I'm the one that heroically saved you from yourself, and distributed your excess candies to the other children."

"Liar! I saw you eating it yourself!" he argued, sitting forward. "You'd sneak into your room and scoff them down when I wasn't looking, inhaling them one after another-"

"-See what a terrible child he is? Accusing me of these things."

"It's true!" He glanced at Riza desperately. "Right?"

"I wouldn't know," she admitted with a shrug.

"Wow, Colonel, you call _me _a brat, but I wasn't half that bad," Ed laughed.

"Not true!" Winry objected.

"Yeah," Al agreed. "You were always taking samples of Mom's baking, even though you knew it was for the other children!"

"If I helped make it, I should be able to try it!"

"At least he _helped_," Madame Christmas agreed. "You didn't do anything but strut around in your costume and practically mug people for sweets."

"I do not _strut_!"

"It's better to strut then to wobble under the weight of fat from all those treats!" she reminded him. "I was saving you!"

"Yeah, right."

"Tell them, Riza! Tell them what a terrible boy he was!"

"He was a real pig," she laughed, ignoring his horrified stare. "I'd come over every Halloween, you see, because my father…well, he wouldn't bring me out. So I came with Roy and his neighbors, and each year, without fail, he'd steal my candy."

"Even _hers_?" Havoc cried. "Roy, you're horrible! Poor Riza came to your house because she was lonely and you robbed her!"

"I would get tired from being out so late, and would fall asleep when I got back to his house," set went on. "When I woke up, everything but the pencils, pretzels and breath mints were left."

"That's horrible!" Al cried in disbelief. Everyone glared at Roy, who was gaping at Riza.

"How do you know it was me and not one of the other kids?" he demanded. "How can you be so sure?"

"Your pillowcase was always twice as full as the other boys," she retorted. "He'd lie and say it only appeared that way – that it was overstuffed – because his pillowcase was smaller than theirs. I was less gullible as I grew, of course. I didn't fall asleep as easily, and Roy would have to steal my candy in more conspicuous ways."

"The Colonel was a candy thief," Ed mused aloud. "I don't think I can look at you the same way again."

"I wasn't being cruel," he argued. "I was just looking out for her, obviously. People put strange things in children's candy, sometimes, and I was just testing them to make sure they were all right."

"You're absolutely terrible!" Riza cried, crossing her arms. "Don't listen to him!"

"He's obviously lying," Havoc laughed. "You're a horrible human being, Colonel. I don't know if I can follow such a greedy man," he teased playfully.

"Look what you've done!" he cried, glaring at Riza. "You're ruining my career over chocolate! I'd bet if anyone else's relatives were here, you'd all have horrible stories to confess to as well!"

"What are _you _talking about?" Havoc demanded. "I was an _angel_."

"I never really liked Halloween," Fuery admitted. "The kids on my street preferred the _trick _more than the _treat_. It truly _was _a scary holiday for me."

"My mother was even worse to me than she is to our customers now," Havoc said thoughtfully. "Yeah, she was always on my case about eating too much candy and not taking care of my teeth, and so on."

"I've always loved Halloween," Breda thought aloud.

"I've never thought much about it," Falman admitted. "In our field, it's pretty scary everyday."

"Halloween is fun pranks, though," Winry said, though she shot a sympathetic gaze at Fuery. "In our world…"

"…The spooks aren't always fun," Al finished for her.

The room fell silent just as the doorbell rang. Madame Christmas rushed to the door. "I'm determined to give candy to at least _one _child tonight!"

She opened the door to reveal none other than Armstrong, dressed as Frankenstein.

"It's so fitting that it's scary," Havoc murmured, eyeing the major with horror.

"Happy Halloween, dearest friends!" he cried. Passing a bag into Madame Christmas' hand, he cried, "And a gift, for the hostess!"

"Cookies?" she asked aloud, glancing into the bag.

"The recipe has been passed down in the Armstrong family for generations!" he announced proudly.

"Come on in," she greeted him, stepping aside.

"I'm not alone," he told her as he stepped aside, revealing that none other than Gracia and Elysia were standing behind him.

"A trick or treater!" she cried. "Finally!" Elysia, who was dressed as a fairy, held out her bag joyfully. "Happy Halloween, dear!"

"Oh, she looks adorable!" Winry cried, rushing over to greet them. Roy and Riza stood up and followed after her.

"I'm a fairy!" she cried, displaying her costume to the guests.

"And a very cute one at that!" Winry assured her, kneeling down. "Let's see what else you've collected tonight!"

As Elysia showed her treats to Winry, Gracia smiled over at Roy and Riza. Though she wasn't dressed up otherwise, she was wearing a pair of wings that matched her daughter's.

"She wanted us to match," she explained, gesturing towards her back. "Her father would always dress up this time of year – he liked any occasion where he could be silly and get away with it. Dressing her up was one of his favorite parts!" She smiled fondly at the memory. "Neither of you dressed up, though."

"No, not this year," Roy smiled. "I didn't have anyone to nag me into wearing a costume." When an awkward silence fell over the group, he opened his mouth to change the subject, but Elysia beat him to it.

"Mommy, let's go!" she begged her. "My friends are already at the next house!"

"All right, sweetheart," she agreed, stepping out of the doorway. "Happy Halloween, everyone." They all waved and bid them farewell before closing the door and returning to their seats.

Elysia was, despite the fact that the street was stuffed with children, the last trick or treater of the night. The party continued on as the guests exchanged their stories about the past Halloweens – Roy offering up more recent tales concerning Hughes and his family – until they decided to call it a night, and the group fell apart, one by one.

"Now look!" she cried angrily, spotting her full bowl of candy as the Elrics and Winry left. "What am I going to do with all of this?"

"You may want to ask Havoc about that toothpaste deal," Roy snickered.

"I can't eat this all," she groaned. "I'm trying to _loose _weight at my age, not gain it!"

Roy lifted the bowl, turning towards Riza, the only remaining guest. "Hey, why don't you take it all, to make up for everything I stole?"

"That's not nearly _half _what you've taken from me over the years," she reminded him with a smirk. "No, thank you. I don't need all of that sitting around my house, either. Why don't you bring it to the office tomorrow? I'm sure it'll go pretty quickly."

"Fine, if you won't take the candy, take the Armstrong family cookies," Roy insisted, forcing the bag into her arms. "What are they, in the shape of bats or something?"

"…Sparkles," she corrected him, glancing into the bag. Glancing up, she said, "Colonel, really, I don't need to take anything. Just because you were a bully when you were younger doesn't mean you have to make up for it _now_. We've all grown since then."

"I guess," he mumbled. "Sometimes I forget the things I did when I was a kid, so I never end up apologizing."

"You weren't a bad kid," she reminded him. "It was the holiday. For some reason, it made you snap."

"You don't know the half of it!" Madame Christmas assured her, moving around the room as she cleaned up.

"All right, then," Roy said, opening the door for her. "Happy Halloween, Lieutenant. Thanks for coming."

"Thanks for a good time," she responded, pulling on her jacket as she stepped outside. She went to go towards his car, but he quickly placed the bag of cookies back into her hand again. She paused for a moment, debating whether or not to argue before smiling, moving off into the night.

"Keep an eye out for kids," he reminded her as she continued down the driveway. "Don't take candy from strangers, and watch out for ghouls!"

"All right, Colonel!" she laughed, stepping into the car. "Don't give Madame Christmas too much trouble either, all right? Help her clean up."

"I will, I will!"

"And really, Colonel, brush your teeth thoroughly after you eat the candy."

"Who said I was going to eat it?" he demanded.

She smirked. "After all these years, you should give me a little credit. I know you better than that."

He couldn't help but laugh, knowing that she was right, and waved as she drove off into the night, smiling thoughtfully as he remembered all of their other holidays together, all his childhood days, his times with Hughes, and now his night with all of his friends, before heading back into the house to claim as much candy as she could before Madame Christmas took it all.


End file.
